When does puberty occur?
Between the immaturity of childhood and the expected maturity of the adult extend the six or seven years which we call adolescence. Adolescence, therefore, coincides mainly with the years that we attend secondary education, without its time limits being clearly defined.
What is puberty?
Adolescence is a special phase in our development, due to the rapid physical changes and new developments in our mental abilities and sexuality.
We focus on physical changes
In this developmental phase, we often feel the need to focus on the many and abrupt physical changes that occur to us. Only in this way can we adapt to these changes and reconcile with the new image of our body. Physical and biological changes, which begin at the age of 12 for girls and 14 for boys on average, are due to the action of hormones and are indeed dramatic. As teenagers, we accept the effects of these biological changes, without always being able to understand them. In fact, we often have the unpleasant feeling that things are not under our control. With a little patience, however, everything will be overcomed. After all, all people go through adolescence, before reaching adulthood.
Our most important goal
Our most important goal in adolescence is the definitive formation of our identity. We aim, therefore, to become unique, individual, mature and responsible individuals. This formation of our identity begins with our intense interest in discovering the nature of ourselves and ends when we have formed the concept of ourselves as a single whole. Thus, we form an image of ourselves, at the heart of which lies a representation of our body, as it actually is and as others see it.
The development of our identity is always going smoothly
The development of our identity does not, most of the time, go smoothly. We all go through an” identity crisis ” in trying to know ourselves, others, of course, to a greater and others to a lesser extent. After all, in the course of our search for ourselves, we undertake to play various roles, which quite often collide. For example, sometimes we need to play the role of the obedient child who adapts to the instructions of his parents and sometimes we need to take initiatives and responsibilities that are more appropriate for adults. The above event results in us feeling anxious, frustrated, defeatist and conflicted with others, especially with our family members.
What features of our identity are considered positive?
In the formation of our identity, we usually make an effort to adopt a number of characteristics that are generally considered positive. Some positive features are indicative of the following:
- We form our own point of view, our individual point of view.
- We have a sense of humor.
- We accept reality as it is.
- We accept and respect ourselves.
- We enjoy human relationships, creating emotional bonds.
- We show interest in social problems.
- We accept the obligations and duties of life within the community.
- We respect the ideas and rights of others.
- We can endure a certain degree of loneliness.
- We have the flexibility and adaptability to manage many different situations etc.
Our struggle for independence
A very important element of the identity we form is our need for independence. As teenagers, we feel the need to move away from the sphere of influence of our family, to chart our own path in life. Our struggle for independence focuses on our psychological freedom from parents. We desire, that is, the freedom to be ourselves, to have our own thoughts, to experience our own feelings and to decide for ourselves about our future. What we must remember, of course, is that there needs to be a balance between the excessive independence that we tend to claim from our parents and the rejection of the concession of any independence on their part.
How important is friendship for us?
Friendship is great for us and is indicated by loyalty and close emotional attachment to a person. The most important influence on the “building” of our friendly relations is the belief that someone else is similar to us. In addition, we tend to choose as friends those who like us and who we believe would choose us as friends. Of course, our relationships with peers are vital, because they provide us with opportunities to learn how to interact with others, how to control our social behavior, and how to share feelings and opinions. The opportunity to discover ourselves, the sense of trust and the feeling that we have something unique makes friendship valuable for us. At the same time, being able to make and maintain friendships means that we have the following positive elements:
- We have sensitivity and magnanimity, since we accept, help others and surround them with affection.
- We feel confident in our social contacts.
- We can see things from the perspective of others.
- We can solve daily dilemmas related to interpersonal relationships.
- We acquire empathy, that is, the ability to regulate our behavior, considering its effect in relation to what the other will feel.
Our family is the safest haven
The support and understanding that our family can offer us is very beneficial. Our parents, as well as the other members, have the opportunity to approach us and become the communicators of our problems and anxiety. Even in the difficulties that occur in our youth, the family is the safest refuge. At the same time, every offer of our family is provided to us selflessly, without any recompense being required of us.